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As the subject of a popular web reality series, Suzanne Barston and her husband Steve became a romantic, ethereal model for new parenthood. Called “A Parent is Born,” the program’s tagline was “The journey to parenthood . . . from pregnancy to delivery and beyond.” Barston valiantly surmounted the problems of pregnancy and delivery. It was the “beyond” that threw her for a loop when she found that, despite every effort, she couldn’t breastfeed her son, Leo. This difficult encounter with nursing—combined with the overwhelming public attitude that breast is not only best, it is the yardstick by which parenting prowess is measured—drove Barston to explore the silenced, minority position that breastfeeding is not always the right choice for every mother and every child.
Part memoir, part popular science, and part social commentary, Bottled Up probes breastfeeding politics through the lens of Barston’s own experiences as well as those of the women she has met through her popular blog, The Fearless Formula Feeder. Incorporating expert opinions, medical literature, and popular media into a pithy, often wry narrative, Barston offers a corrective to our infatuation with the breast. Impassioned, well-reasoned, and thoroughly researched, Bottled Up asks us to think with more nuance and compassion about whether breastfeeding should remain the holy grail of good parenthood.
- Sales Rank: #269292 in Books
- Published on: 2012-10-18
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.25" h x .75" w x 5.50" l, .85 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 224 pages
From Publishers Weekly
Blogger/editor Barston had every intention of breastfeeding her newborn son, but the baby's severe intolerance to breast milk along with other factors thwarted her efforts. Feeling conflicted, defensive, and guilty, she spent two years researching the ups and downs of bottle and breastfeeding. Her text interweaves memoir and reporting as she scouts recent medical literature, interviews experts, and recounts her own tale as a lactation-challenged Hester Prynne. Barston makes clear that she is not antibreastfeeding; rather, her goal is to lay out the facts and examine the research so that each mother can decide for herself. Breastfeeding, she asserts, is not for every woman, whether for medical, psychological, professional, or many other reasons. She advocates a new outlook on infant feeding: one that refuses to embrace a one-size-fits-all strategy. While much has been done to support the breastfeeding mother, Barston argues, formula feeders have often been judged unfairly, without due attention to each woman's individual circumstances. Society's goal, she contends, should be to support all mothers in their right to choose what is best for themselves, their babies, and their families. Formula-feeding parents will find support, information, and encouragement in this well-researched and compassionate text, and breastfeeding moms and advocates will benefit from Barston's authentic experience and perspective as well. (Oct.)
Review
"Barston’s short and well-researched book . . . based on two years’ of interviews with pediatricians, researchers, sociologists, statisticians and fellow feminists will either help expectant moms make personal decisions, or potentially reassure them if they find themselves unable to breastfeed when they had wanted to do so." - Top 10 Books to Gift at a Baby Shower
(Brain, Child 2015-08-03)
From the Inside Flap
“Barston's defense of bottlefeeding declares a moratorium on using motherhood as a dumping ground for our cultural anxieties and ambivalences. Through the deft interweave of personal narrative and sharp analysis, Bottled Up reveals how mother-blaming, sloppy science and deficient policies are far more pernicious that artificial milk." —Chris Bobel, author of The Paradox of Natural Mothering
“Bottled Up is a truly timely book. It is testament to how messed up things have become when it comes to motherhood that it even had to be written. The end result is a serious, engaging, challenging and also accessible account, drawing on the best of scholarship, science and journalism.”—Ellie Lee, Director of the Centre for Parenting Culture Studies, University of Kent
"“This is an informative and well-reasoned book that looks acutely at the meaning of baby feeding alternatives. It will be helpful to mothers, no matter what their choice."—Sydney Z. Spiesel, Ph.D. M.D., Clinical Professor of Pediatrics, Yale University School of Medicine
“This book is a must-read for every woman and man who is fed-up with the shaming and blaming of bottle-feeding parents. Barston explains with evidence, anecdote and humour why breast isn't always best and why women will never be free to enjoy their babies and map the maternal landscape until infant feeding decisions are no longer used as a test of good motherhood.”—Dr. Leslie Cannold, author of The Book of Rachael
Barston gives a heartfelt defense of mothers who go against the dogma of Breastfeeding Over All Else. Based on both personal experience and expert consultations, her conclusion: occasionally it's healthier not to breastfeed, and anyway don't stress about it. Surprisingly, such a reasonable point of view is poorly represented in the Mommy Wars. Barston's book is a welcome contribution."—Sam Wang, Ph.D., Princeton University, co-author of Welcome To Your Child's Brain: How the Mind Develops from Conception to College.
Most helpful customer reviews
40 of 43 people found the following review helpful.
Just Feed the Baby!
By Jeff Watson
My wife breast fed both our babies for more than 2 years each. My wife had her children in the early 1980's and during pre-natal classes, was asked whether she wanted to breastfeed or formula feed and was unconditionally supported, as were all mothers in Australia at that time, in whatever feeding method she chose. She was a wonderful mother!
My daughter formula fed each of her three babies and I'm not going to tell you why because, quite frankly, it doesn't matter! My daughter had her children between 2006 and 2010 at a 'baby-friendly' hospital where she was told she 'failed to breastfeed', made to feel she was the only mother who was unable to successfully feed, then given no instructions on how to safely prepare a bottle of formula. She, also, proved to be a wonderful mother!
Times were certainly different, yet both my wife and daughter are wonderful mothers who cared for their children in the best way they possibly could, with unconditional love... after all, what normal mother doesn't do what is best for her babies?
And I believe this to be the main point to Suzanne Barston's debut book Bottled Up, which was a wonderful and easy read with just the right mixture of personal experiences, humour, and well researched facts.
Mothering is not an easy task and every mother and every family and every baby is different with different individual needs... so every mother should be supported unconditionally in whatever she has decided is best for her, her baby, and her family.
Bottled Up will go a long way to re-enforcing that viewpoint and I'd highly recommend every prospective mother read this book, before the baby arrives!
I'd simply say, from a man's point of view, "just feed the baby!" :)
37 of 42 people found the following review helpful.
Latched on and couldn't put it down
By AJ Riley
If you have ever wondered:
why cans of formula come with a warning label that says breast is best
what's going on behind the scenes at the AAP, and what's the science behind their claims
why you had troubles supplying enough milk when 95% of moms can breastfeed with no issue
or the question posed in her introduction "Is breastfeeding really so superior that it justifies the guilt trip we heap on all of these women?"
...then this book is for you.
This was a fascinating read of everything that you DON'T hear about in the news or in your breastfeeding class. The author is in no way slamming breastfeeding and touts it as a perfect food, and does not in any way want to discourage breastfeeding. What she is doing is exposing the other side of the coin, the hidden side, the part that mothers, policymakers, or LCs wouldn't dare voice. The problems, the costs, the complications, and the science, but mostly focused on the human beings--the mothers who have to endure overwhelming societal pressure and what they have to say.
The book starts as historical journey, the author takes us down the series of events that led our nation and world to where it is today in terms of feeding wars. I would like to combine these chapters with the beginning of Lenore Skenazy's "Free Range Kids" into a book entitled "Why you are an anxiety-filled American parent in 2012". She then goes into some unexpected and eye-opening territory in a chapter on postpartum depression, coming to some innovative solutions to help women, of which I have dogeared the pages to show to my public health coworkers on Monday morning. There is also a thought-provoking chapter on whether new laws that protect women's right to pump are actually helping or hurting moms, and the mismatched relationship of breastfeeding and WIC, which reminded me of Ruby Payne's work on poverty and how the middle class sets the rules for the lower class who has their own completely different set of rules. She then takes an in depth look at how we got to the statistics that we so often hear about, all while coloring the chapters with personal stories of herself and her blog readers facing situations you would have never even thought about.
I work in the field of public health and have read a ton of studies and discourse on the subject and I was amazed by the new information presented in the book, and hope I will be able to put this new info to good use. This is a meticulously researched investigative look into all the things we know and thought we knew about infant feeding, with interviews from a wide range of experts brave enough to have been a public voice of reason.
Let me end with a note about the author: Suzanne Barston runs a popular and influential blog, the Fearless Formula Feeder, whose therapeutic value to new moms formula feeding in a breast-is-best world cannot possibly be overstated. There is an undercurrent among the readers that many of them have had miscarriages, fertility problems, and postpartum depression and then breastfeeding failures to boot. These are tough, strong women, who are able to share stories every Friday that most of them would never dare tell their closest friends. Indeed the book higlights one of these women who wrote of a sexual assault she endured that she had not and will not ever tell her husband about. In that sense, the FFF blog has become sort of an Ellis Island, beckoning all the tired masses, the wretched refuse of our snobbish shores, yearning to feed free of judgement, and Suzanne our own beautiful Lady Liberty, lifting her lamp and giving us the freedom to express our feelings in a safe environment with people who understand what it's like because they've been there, too. Most of these women have traveled long, heartbreaking roads and they are tired and they are sensitive and they need the support that this blog and it's community can give them. Suzanne is the voice of all these women, the one who dares to eloquently speak out when we just aren't able to do so ourselves. And her book is awesome.
15 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
Informative, enjoyable read on an important topic
By nightowl
This is a wonderful and much-needed book! I'm a certified nurse-midwife and family nurse-practitioner who assists women throughout their pregnancy/delivery/post-birth care and in many cases also the pediatric care of their infants, so this is a topic that I deal with on a day-to-day basis. In fact, I consider myself to be somewhat of an expert on breastfeeding! So please trust me when I tell you that this book is in no way "anti-breastfeeding." Far from it! I found Bottled Up to be well-researched, engaging, and thought-provoking. In it, the author shares her deeply personal experiences attempting to breastfeed, interweaving reflections on the breast-at-any-cost mentality that's developed among certain socioeconomic/cultural groups in the U.S. with an overview of/intro to the actual state of research on the benefits of breastfeeding. Until reading this book, I did not fully comprehend the pressure that some of my patients feel to "succeed" at breastfeeding. I've been aware that this pressure seems to have increased over time, but I really had not realized how intense things have gotten until reading this book. I can now make much better sense of numerous experiences with patients who have seemed utterly desperate to breastfeed and totally devastated at the challenges they've faced. In these cases, I've tried to be supportive, but I'm now realizing there's a lot more we can do here as health professionals!! As a nurse-midwife, I've always encouraged interested women to give breastfeeding a try and have been happy to provide assistance as needed. On the other hand, I've also always figured that formula is an excellent alternative for those who don't want to or can't breastfeed. Now, though, I'm realizing that this message--formula is a good option too!--may not be getting through to families who are bombarded with the "breast is best" message . . . I think many health professionals may not realize how some of the ways we talk about breastfeeding are overselling its benefits and putting undue pressure on women at a very vulnerable time in their lives. Yes, breast may be best for many women and babies, but for many others--e.g. women who can't produce enough breast milk, women whose histories of abuse, etc. are triggered by breastfeeding, and many many other cases--it is certainly not best at all! For other women--those who simply prefer not to breastfeed--the difference between "best" and "an excellent alternative" in their individual situations may be very slight indeed, and women need accurate information here to be able to make their own choices as to what is best overall for themselves and their families. I think most health professionals will not be at all surprised with the content of this book in terms of the actual research-proven benefits of breastfeeding, etc., but it may be a wake-up call for many regarding the disconnect between the medical knowledge base on this topic and popular perception. For the general public, it's a great overview of the topic. I'll be recommending this book to all of my midwife, nurse, physician and lactation consultant colleagues, as well as many of my patients. Thank you, Suzanne, for taking a very difficult, personal experience and turning it into this outstanding book to share with the world!
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